


Cries in my mind / Please be here

by RITORUBATTO



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Depressed Steve Rogers, Depressed Tony Stark, Howard is only mentioned, Hurt Tony Stark, Like he should be, M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Self-Harm, Steve is a lot more young, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, like a lot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-19 04:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29620365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RITORUBATTO/pseuds/RITORUBATTO
Summary: A Soulmates AU. In a world where everyone has a soulmate, sometimes the voice of your destined one will be on your head like they are there with you, and that precious time you can try to communicate with them.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 1
Kudos: 21





	Cries in my mind / Please be here

**Author's Note:**

> My first fic and I am not a native English speaker! *sweats* This is unbeta'd, only want to try AO3? I literally wanted this to be a prompt, but it transformed into a Drabble and then an entire fic.

Steve is a late Vietnam veteran, 'cause he enlisted when the war was close to end, in his freshly 21-years-old, tired of living all of his life scared of the war, so he becomes a Super soldier. When he returns home, he feels out of time, even when he was only a couple of years gone. His mother died before he enlisted, so he feels like he has no reason to continue living. When he first hears the voice of his destined one, he is startled to only find that... a kid is quietly sobbing? So he tries to soothe them, humming the old lullaby that his mother sometimes singed for him, but he doesn't remember the lyrics.

  
On the other side, Tony, being a 5-year-old child, tries not to let Howard (he is against calling him "father", he will not) hear him cry after a bad argument that have ended with him receiving a hard hit on his face, when he hears this beautiful voice humming a very soothing song in his head. He worries that anyone can hear it, but nobody does, so that little moments when he hears that man humming, are his little oasis in the desert.

  
\-------------

  
After many years pass, a teen Tony is frankly so _done_ with life. Howard only is more and more angry with him with the years, the hits getting more and more frequent. He was convinced he was _the worst._ Why wouldn't he be? Howard have been telling him that all his life. Maybe he had been right all this time. 

  
He sighed, noting the little zap that his mind did when the mental link opened, he did recognize it after all the years that he was hearing his soulmate. Well, his hums. He didn't know anything else about him. _Him_ , because obviously his destined one was a man. If he concentrates, he still can feel the pain of Howard's hit when he -innocent him, so young- did tell him and his mother that he had a soulmate! That _he_ sings for him! Bold younger him.   
  


Sighing again, he repeated all the things that he said regularly. "Hi, my name is Tony, I'm 17 years old, do you want to talk?" he repeated that nearly every day, every time more and more exhausted and with less hope that the other man would talk back to him.   
  
  
He then waits for a couple of minutes, sighing when he doesn't hear anything. That type of days, exhausted and in a bad mental state, he would take one of his razor blades and do a couple of non-threatening-life cuts on his upper legs, where no one could see it. Then he would be transfixed observing the little blood drops appearing bit by bit, and after an hour or so, would sanitize them and forgetting about all the thing until the next time.

  
He never heard his soulmate talk. Only hum to him that song. He wondered if he was insane, or hated him. Why would he torture him like that?

  
Tony wouldn't know until another 15 years passed. 

  
\------------  
  


The time flies, and a young adult Tony gets kidnapped on Afghanistan, and Steve hears every time he is being tortured. Luckily, Steve have enlisted for Afghanistan, and he _knows_ his destined one is there, because the language of the men having him is definitively Arabic. He simply _senses_ that he is there, so, the searches and searches like a madman. Looks like he didn't have to, soon their technology captures a foreign body in the desert, and when they go to pick it up, they notice that it is a person. A person in a suit of armor.

  
Tony eventually wakes up, with a big, blonde guy sitting beside his bed, sleeping with his head on the mattress in a very uncomfortable position, holding his hand. He tries to move a little, and that movement makes the stranger wake up. The gentle giant man corrected his position in a military precision. Then, it happened: "Oh, sorry about the hand-holding, Tony" the blond said, quickly dropping the hold and looking embarrassed.

  
The jet-haired man was speechless. That was the voice that sang that lullaby to him for years! "How do you know my name...?" He asked with raspy voice. Walking through the desert in a metal suit until you pass out from exhaustion and the heat can do that to your voice, apparently. Then he remembered that he was _the_ Tony Stark, and he let that go.

  
The military man was visibly struggling to answer the question. Tony chuckled a little for that, receiving a couple of coughs in exchange. The other man passed him a glass of water (or not a glass of water, if not a military-style canteen, to your utter surprise, harhar) and he took it all without giving it more thought.

  
The Blonde One (he was going to call him that until he tells him his name, he decided) looked satisfied when he drank all the water. "I heard it" The Blonde One finally gave him his answer, and Tony nearly lets the canteen drop to the floor.

  
"How?"

  
"Well, I actually heard you every time you wanted to introduce yourself" He explained, awkwardly, looking away from Tony. He used that time unnoticed to inspect the blue eyes that now were looking at the not-that-far dunes.

  
"Wait, you were the one that hummed? The guy that soothed me all that times?" He was... How could he describe it? _Ecstatic_ would be a good word. Also, angry. The guy hasn't talked back to him. Never. Just hummed that song over and over again when he was upset.

  
"Ah... Yes. I didn't know how to approach the situation, if I'm sincere" He murmured. "The first time I heard you, I heard a _child_. I was scared of overstepping" He continued with his explanation, appearing ashamed of himself.   
  
"Fuck" Tony swore, covering his face with his hand. In a couple of weeks he had been kidnapped, now he has a reactor on his fucking chest stopping him from basically dying, and now the one who have been his only reason to continue living in the hell that was his childhood home was there with him. Something more? C'mon! He was exhausted. "Look, I _am_ angry, but I understand. Can you tell me your name now? Or do I have to keep calling you 'The Blonde One' internally?" he asked, quickly regaining his sassy tone.

  
"I'm Steve, Steve Rogers" he said immediately, with a full smile on his face that nearly blinded Tony.

  
He decided that he would give the man an opportunity. If only for that smile. He had the sensation that Steve didn't smile much.


End file.
